I use to believe that love always wins but I have been shown that this is not always the case or is it?
You can love someone deeply and truly and if they aren’t willing or ready for that love it can and will be rejected. That rejection hurts so deeply and there is nothing you can do to change it, at that point you can only love from afar. That leaves you hurt and wanting.
Somehow you lose a part of yourself, you also seem to lose your strength in your beliefs as well as part of your dignity. Oh, you eventually get them back but they come back different and they once again show you a part of yourself that you didn’t see before.
It can make you question your own sanity and it helps you find out what you are made of. Can you move forward? Will you stay stuck, yearning, hoping that “someday” they will wake up and see what they have lost or rejected?
Why is it so important for them to know what they have lost? Shouldn’t we be focusing instead on what we gained from the experience? Why do we as humans have to be validated, especially where love is concerned? Isn’t love something we are suppose to give freely without an expectation of a return?
In our society we associate passion, sex, giving, understanding with love. When they are not reciprocated we beat ourselves up. We blame ourselves. There must be something wrong with me, why am I so unlovable? We always bring it back to us being unlovable or somehow unworthy.
We just don’t stop long enough to realize that it isn’t always about you. There are times when rather than beating yourself up you need to realize it is more about meeting others where they are at, at this moment in time. What has happened in their lives that they can’t accept love? What fears do they carry within around love? Do they worry that they too are unlovable? Do they feel unworthy? Have they been told they are hard to love? Have they carried the belief that they don’t know how to love or that they aren’t worthy of true love?
Sometimes it isn’t about you. Sometimes it is about them. Sometimes it is about both of you. Sometimes you can identify the why’s but there are many times you can’t or don’t get the opportunity to find out. What if you both believe the same things about love? What if you both feel unworthy? Unlovable? Then there are large hurdles that need to be faced and if both are not willing to face them then nothing will change. Sometimes you have to feel the hurt and pain, pick yourself up, put your dignity back in place and walk away. You walk away knowing you loved wholly and truly. You gave it your all. You may not have done it in a way you are proud of but you followed your heart. You did what you felt was right at the time. It just wasn’t what they needed or wanted at this moment in time. You can’t force them to need love or offer love in return. No matter the outcome you both walk away changed forever. You will never be the same and neither will they.
So back to my opening statement “I use to believe that love always wins but I have been shown that this is not always the case or is it?”
Oftentimes, I will start writing with no idea where it is going. This was the case this morning. I started out writing about my upcoming trip and ended up writing about love. Many times it is me processing beliefs, perspectives or whatever other feelings pop up. This morning I started with the statement that “I use to believe that love always wins but I have been shown that this is not always the case.” I kept writing. I got to this point and the realization came that indeed love does always win even when it feels like it has lost.
You see you walk away changed. You walk away knowing yourself better. You walk away loving yourself just a little bit more gently. You walk away knowing that there is still love in the world. You walk away with soul growth regardless of what the pain in your heart feels like. You walk away a new person. You move on and you continue to carry the love you felt but now you also know that you can love yourself too and that is a beautiful way of being.
Indeed, Love does always win!