Mike is here today. He just keeps showing up in everything. It is not a bad thing, it just brings up so many feelings. I guess they are feelings I need to let go of. Sometimes it isn’t so easy to do. Other times I can identify them and feel them and let them go. Today it seems to be all about yearning.
A deep yearning to have that companionship, love and understanding back in my life. I miss having my best friend, the one who knew me as well as I know myself. I miss having those deep, comforting hugs when I am afraid of the changes life is bringing. I miss having that someone to laugh with. I miss having someone to share my daily thoughts with. I miss having someone to love. I miss having a best friend who is by my side daily. Someone that I trust explicitly. Someone I know has my back no matter what. I miss having someone who thinks the sun rises and sets in me, no matter what I look like or how bitchy I am. I miss having someone to cuddle with when I am laying in bed at night.
No matter how much you work on being the “all” to yourself there are still things that as a human you need and/or want. Overall, we are creatures of comfort and although we can find comfort within and know that we are “enough” we still need and want the scent of another human, the touch, the sound of a soothing voice. We can only transcend so much because we are human.
We were made to love others and in turn to be loved. I believe we choose to come to this earth to learn to love ourselves, walk in Spirit, and love others. We give a part of our heart to those that we care about and when they leave us, whether it is by choice, death, a move, whatever the case, they take that part of our heart with them.
We are always right there with them. Cheering them on, crying beside them or laughing at the silly things life offers. Whey they die they take that part of our heart that we so freely gave, with them. I believe that is why for the rest of our lives we can feel them when they are visiting us from the other side.
They show up in many ways, whether they are living and breathing but out on their own adventure or dead.
It can be a song, music fills one’s soul and most often you can hear a song and it will flood you with memories. Memories of a person, a place, or a time in your life.
It can be a smell. How many times have you smelled a flower, perfume, cologne, a certain food and the memory of an individual comes to mind? It happens daily and very seldom do we give it much thought.
It can be a place. A place you shared with someone. An event that happened at a specific location. To this day when I hear about or see a coroner’s office I think of my best friend Sue and a guy named Chris. A ride in a jeep where we took the corner on 2 wheels, 2 autopsies, vicks vapor rub, popcorn and oatmeal as well as a breakfast at the Bluff’s before the events of the day. Most of all I remember the love shared between friends.
The memory of this day brings on many more memories, memories of 26 years of steady, true friendship. Marriages, divorces, babies being born, burying a child, father and husband, graduation from the sheriff’s department, Alzheimers, birthday parties, fighting cancer, phone calls, laughter, tears. A deep abiding knowing that no matter where we are in life, no matter where the other is in location, we are always there, by the others side, loving each other and always just a phone call away. Why? Because we gave each other a piece of our heart. We share love.
There are many different types of love. How we love, who we love, doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we came and we loved. We give it our all and when we leave, we leave a part of us with those we deemed worthy to share our hearts with.
Go give your heart and love to someone today. It will change your life and theirs. Go make a difference in this world. Love someone.