Making Memories

In every moment we have the opportunity to embrace life and make memories. I believe that when we leave this earth what we leave behind is the love that we share and the memories we have made with those that we love.

Some memories will be beautiful and others will be painful but how we live is what will be remembered. How we made someone feel. How we treated them. How we loved or hated them.

I also believe that during our dying process we relive the memories of our life. We work on releasing the guilt for the pain that we caused others and we have our hearts healed by the beautiful memories we make in love.

In my training I was taught that when we remember our bodies do not know that it is a memory. Instead our body reacts as though what we are thinking about is happening in this moment. So if it is a bad memory your body, your cells, your being reacts. Whether with sadness or fear your body reacts. The same is true with happiness, love and joy. If you think of a beautiful memory then your body reacts in kind.

I find myself looking at the beauty in my life. I left California in search of myself. I have found many things out about myself over the last year. Mostly, I have come to realize that I am a good person and that I deserve love. This has been a huge lesson for me. So now, now, I focus on making beautiful memories. I am thankful daily for my blessings and the beauty in my life.

Five months ago I met someone. He has taught me a lot. Some of it has been painful. Some of it has brought about changes within that I never dreamed possible. Regardless, it has been beautiful.

I am making memories. Beautiful memories. I have love in my life. I laugh a lot. I am constantly called an “emotional witch” because I cry when I feel the need to cry. I laugh when I am happy and very seldom do I find myself angry. When I do everyone knows it!

But this particular post is about some of the beautiful memories I have been blessed with over the last five months. Memories that I will always hold onto because they fill my soul with joy and beauty and every day they make me thankful I am alive.

Dancing. Have I ever told you how much I love music? Did you know that I love to dance? I really do! There is something amazing that happens when the music starts and you can feel it in your body and begin to move with it. I just love to dance. I am blessed with a sweet, gentle man who loves to dance too. I have had many nights over the last five months where the music starts and I find myself in his arms dancing in the kitchen, living room, wherever we are. I love every single moment, even when I am stepping on his feet! These dances are some of my most treasured memories.

I live only a few miles from the beach. Unfortunately I don’t get there quite as much as I would like to but I have some beautiful memories sitting on the shore watching the sun rise. I also have the memory of the first time I went to the beach with Rodney. It was nighttime. I only wanted to go to make an offering of thanks. I made my offering, it was a full moon, and the next thing I knew I was being pulled into the ocean. Laughing and finding myself feeling safe within his arms. It is a memory I will hold onto forever.

Almost anyone who knows me knows that I have refused to go to a movie theater for years. They give me the weebee jeebees. Well he talked me into going to the movie theater. We have now been there twice and I love it. They are a lot nicer than I remember, reclining chairs and arm room but ultimately it is something that I enjoy doing that I would never have done if he had not come along and convinced me to try it again.

So far my absolute favorite memory happened a week or so ago. We were laying in bed watching tv, listening to the rain, thunder and lightning. All of a sudden he looks at me and says, “Do you want to go dance in the rain?” I, of course, said YES!! You see I love the rain. I love thunderstorms and I have never danced with anyone in the rain before. He is on crutches but that did not stop him. He got up and grabbed my hand and we headed for the front door. We stood outside, crutches and all, dancing in the storm until we were soaked to the bone. Laughing, holding each other and swaying to the music that only we could hear. To this moment in time I have to say that it is the most beautiful moment in my life.

One of the things I have learned from having this man in my life is spontaneity. I don’t need to plan every little detail because chances are my plans are going to go straight out the door and never be realized. He is constantly going and nothing is ever set in stone. I am learning to adjust and am finding it refreshing and life affirming. Just one of the many beautiful changes in my life. I am thankful for the lessons and honestly I think it makes me feel younger and I have a deeper sense of freedom. A freedom to just be me and do what feels right rather than what I think is right. Beautiful moments come from his spontaneous ways and for that I am forever thankful.

So when you get wrapped up in your day to day living don’t forget to stop and appreciate the special moments. Take time to recognize the moments that you share with those you love. Remember to show or tell those you love that you love them often. Life gets to busy. People get wrapped up in their own pain. They just let it slide. They think that they will always be there to tell and then they aren’t. So today, I am making memories, reflecting on the beauty in my life and telling those I love that I love them. We are loving those that love us and making a difference together.

Live, love and laugh and always find the beauty.

In Her Service,


Memories & Love

Mike is here today.  He just keeps showing up in everything.  It is not a bad thing, it just brings up so many feelings.  I guess they are feelings I need to let go of.  Sometimes it isn’t so easy to do.  Other times I can identify them and feel them and let them go.  Today it seems to be all about yearning.

A deep yearning to have that companionship, love and understanding back in my life.  I miss having my best friend, the one who knew me as well as I know myself. I miss having those deep, comforting hugs when I am afraid of the changes life is bringing.  I miss having that someone to laugh with.  I miss having someone to share my daily thoughts with.  I miss having someone to love.  I miss having a best friend who is by my side daily. Someone that I trust explicitly.  Someone I know has my back no matter what.  I miss having someone who thinks the sun rises and sets in me, no matter what I look like or how bitchy I am. I miss having someone to cuddle with when I am laying in bed at night.

No matter how much you work on being the “all” to yourself there are still things that as a human you need and/or want.  Overall, we are creatures of comfort and although we can find comfort within and know that we are “enough” we still need and want the scent of another human, the touch, the sound of a soothing voice. We can only transcend so much because we are human.

We were made to love others and in turn to be loved.  I believe we choose to come to this earth to learn to love ourselves, walk in Spirit, and love others.  We give a part of our heart to those that we care about and when they leave us, whether it is by choice, death, a move, whatever the case, they take that part of our heart with them.

We are always right there with them.  Cheering them on, crying beside them or laughing at the silly things life offers.  Whey they die they take that part of our heart that we so freely gave, with them.  I believe that is why for the rest of our lives we can feel them when they are visiting us from the other side.

They show up in many ways, whether they are living and breathing but out on their own adventure or dead.

It can be a song, music fills one’s soul and most often you can hear a song and it will flood you with memories.  Memories of a person, a place, or a time in your life.

It can be a smell.  How many times have you smelled a flower, perfume, cologne, a certain food and the memory of an individual comes to mind?  It happens daily and very seldom do we give it much thought.

It can be a place.  A place you shared with someone.  An event that happened at a specific location. To this day when I hear about or see a coroner’s office I think of my best friend Sue and a guy named Chris. A ride in a jeep where we took the corner on 2 wheels, 2 autopsies, vicks vapor rub, popcorn and oatmeal as well as a breakfast at the Bluff’s before the events of the day.  Most of all I remember the love shared between friends.

The memory of this day brings on many more memories, memories of 26 years of steady, true friendship.  Marriages, divorces, babies being born, burying a child, father and husband, graduation from the sheriff’s department, Alzheimers, birthday parties, fighting cancer, phone calls, laughter, tears.  A deep abiding knowing that no matter where we are in life, no matter where the other is in location, we are always there, by the others side, loving each other and always just a phone call away.  Why?  Because we gave each other a piece of our heart. We share love.

There are many different types of love.  How we love, who we love, doesn’t really matter.  What matters is that we came and we loved.  We give it our all and when we leave, we leave a part of us with those we deemed worthy to share our hearts with.

Go give your heart and love to someone today.  It will change your life and theirs. Go make a difference in this world.  Love someone.